Category Archives: Daily Life

Leavin’ Laos

Date: June 17, 2010
Significance: First Day of Summer Vacation!

5:30 a.m. – Sunlight pours through the curtains of the guest bedroom, where I had sought sanctuary from Tony’s snoring. A quick wave of grumpiness over the early hour immediately subsides when I realize we are leaving today to spend the summer with friends and family in Michigan. A big smiley stretch, and then I crawl out of bed and get to work: charging iPods, cameras and phones; transferring computer files on to my laptop; redistributing the stuff in our overpacked bags; and sending a few emails.

6:30 a.m. – I consider taking a shower but then realize my scheduled shopping excursion to the Morning Market will leave me coated with grime. Bathing can wait till later. I head downstairs to nag Tony. I had asked him to set out everything he wanted to take home so I could use my superpower packing skills to fit everything in our luggage. Days ago I had asked him to do that. And then again yesterday. Nagging commences, followed by a brief argument. He continues watching The Godfather on TV. (Later, when we were getting along again, he offered up a good packing suggestion: “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”)

7:30 a.m. – I am a multi-tasking packing genius. Toiletries in a Ziploc bag. Underwear and T-shirts rolled into tight little cigars and tucked in every nook and cranny. A couple Turkish carpets and other special souvenirs from our travels carefully rolled in plastic trash bags. Even a few cans of Beer Lao wrapped in newspaper and triple-bagged. Tony spots the beer and shakes with frustration.
“We go overweight every time,” he insists.
“No we don’t!” I lie. “I promise, if the bags are overweight, the beer will be the first thing to go.” I have no intention of parting with the beer. It’s an awesome gift.

8:30 a.m. – I want to buy presents from Laos for everyone I will see this summer in the States, but (a) we’re broke and (b) all the stuff for sale here is either cheap Chinese crap or expensive ethnic Lao handicrafts. I can’t seem to find anyone selling cheap beautiful local crafts. Nevertheless, I meet a few friends for breakfast, followed by a visit to the Morning Market. The market comprises a three-story mall and a labyrinth of smaller stalls selling knock-off iPhones, kitchen utensils, T-shirts, silk tapestries, Hmong textiles and just about anything else you could ever need. My neighbor, Julia, has hired a tuk-tuk driver who hauls us to the café and the market. He is very sweet and praises me incessantly for my brilliant Lao language skills (Good morning! Turn left. Turn right. Go market.)


9 a.m. –
Julia and I meet up with our friend Whetu and two Lao teaching assistants from VIS, Lae and Addie, at my favorite breakfast spot – Kung’s Café. As we savor the sticky-rice pancakes with mango, French toast with banana, and thick iced coffees, the café’s owner, J.B, chats with us. He speaks five languages and worked for the American military as a translator in the 60s at the same time the CIA’s “Secret War” was blanketing Laos with clusterbombs. Some day, I want to interview him about that experience, if he’s willing to discuss it.

10 a.m. – I’m feeling a little apprehensive about our shopping trip. Our luggage is already bursting at the seams, and our 2 p.m. departure is creeping up on me. I had convinced Tony that the airline will let us take a few extra kilos, which nearly made him explode. I brush aside my doubts and encourage the girls to get going.

10:15 a.m. – Julia, Whetu and I are picking up gifts for people back home, but money is tight and the vendors are stubborn. Lae and Addie help us haggle over prices. As we browse through embroidered bags and silk scarves, perspiration rivers down my arms. My soaked T-shirt clings to my torso. I haven’t washed my hair in four days, so I pull it back in a greasy, stringy sweaty ponytail.

11:30 a.m. – We’re looking at traditional sinh skirts, and I suddenly remember the two skirts at the dressmaker’s shop in another part of town. I was supposed to pick them up yesterday. Panic sets in. I call Tony, who agrees to pick me up on the motorbike and take me to the dress shop. I wish my friends a happy summer and dash out of the market to meet Tony.

Noon – We pick up my skirts, and I climb on the back of the motorbike to head home. I mull over my market purchases. I had bought some cute little slippers for my nephew, Nico, and a matching stuffed elephant made from traditional fabrics. I had meant to buy another set for his little brother, Paul, but I ran out of time. I picture the two of them shuffling around in their silly slippers and making their elephants fight and kiss. Suddenly, I am determined to go back to the market to buy slippers and an elephant for Paul even though he’s too young to care. At the same time, I know Tony is ready to strangle me.

12:05 p.m. – Still on the back of the bike, I have a brainstorm. Tony has been begging for a new cell phone, which I think is a waste of money. However, desperate times call for desperate measures. “If you want to pop back to the Morning Market to look around, I think we have enough time,” I tell him. He makes a beeline for the electronics section and shows me the knock-off Blackberry he wants. I feign interest. He haggles over the price as he has done many times with this same vendor. He already knows the final price, but he does this for sport. Eventually I pull him away and drag him to the handicrafts section to buy Paul’s gifts. Feeling a bit anxious about our luggage allowance and the potential marital discord if we have to pay a penalty, I decide to take out an emotional insurance policy. “If you really want a new phone, I guess I don’t care if you buy it,” I say. “I really do want it,” says Tony. So we return to his phone lady, dicker a bit more, and finally score the Blackberry for $60.

1 p.m. – When we get home – with just an hour to go before our airport shuttle picks us up – Tony drops the bomb: “Oh bad news. The power’s out.” Annoying, but no big deal. This happens all the time, and it usually comes back on within five minutes. I peel off my sweat-soaked stinky clothes and stuff my new purchases in our already stuffed luggage.

1:30 p.m. – Still no power, which means no air conditioning and no water. Which means no bathing. Which is bad, bad news. I look and smell like I was dipped in sweat, battered in dust and deep fat fried. The thought of boarding a plane in this condition fills me with self-conscious dread. Tony suggests washing my hair with the garden hose, but by the time I dash upstairs for shampoo and a towel, he has used all the water to rinse his armpits.

1:45 p.m. – Down to the wire. I use up three packs of green tea-scented wet wipes to give myself a good scrubbing. Nothing I could do about my hair. Extra deodorant, clean clothes, and I’m fresh as a daisy. For about 30 seconds. And then I’m slick with sweat again.

2 p.m. – Mr. Det pulls up to our gate in a big white van. I want to be discrete about our departure. Many of our friends and colleagues have experienced break-ins during school vacations. We don’t want to alert the neighborhood that we’ll be gone for six weeks. I open the gate, wave in the van and shut the gate behind him. We load all our bags, lock up the house and open the gate again so Mr. Det can drive out. As I secure the padlock on the gate, all the tuk-tuk drivers gather around the van, look in the windows and jabber about what I can only assume is our obvious impending absence. I sigh. Our night guard, Beng, and cleaner, Daeng, have promised to keep an eye on the place. Fingers crossed.

And we’re off!

Highway to Hell

During a recent bike ride with some girlfriends along the Mekong River south of Vientiane, I encountered a full-on fire-and-brimstone smackdown about heaven vs. hell, good vs. evil, the chosen ones vs. the infidels. I found the graphic warnings so engrossing that I actually forgot to write down the name of the temple.

Split into two panels, the left side of the wall features brightly dressed, cheerful (perhaps a bit bored?) people paired off in satisfying monogamous couplehood. The text – in Lao and English – reminds us: “Nirvana/Paradise, final destination for people making merits and good deeds!”
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I’m not sure what Lao’s celestial company store offers up, but it looks like you can spend American money there. I’m tempted to postpone all that goody-two-shoes stuff till the economy turns around. A girl’s gotta stretch that heavenly dollar.
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The right side of the wall would be deeply disturbing if it weren’t so funny. No need to pontificate with words, the text simply reads: “Avechi/Hell for people committing sins and bad deeds!” The 3-D mural screams out the real message: Scorched wailing people with dangling entrails and sinners getting tossed off a cliff, suffering pokes in the butt with pitchforks, chained together by scary demons. My dad never had anything good to say about people with tattoos, and it looks like he was right. You start with a little tramp stamp, and next thing you know your ink has landed you nekkid on a thorny tree with a spear through your back and a satanic dog chomping on your rump.
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After a bit of googling, I was thrilled to find that this temple has actually earned some press. The Vientiane Times ran an article in 2009 about temple art that depicts the fate of sinners. I’m pretty sure the temple in the article – Vat Nakhorpha – is the same one I visited, although their photo of the painting is a bit different. I’m guessing the mural got a face-lift after all the attention. Or I could be way off base, as usual. Here’s an interesting tidbit from the newspaper article:

The paintings show a myriad of torturous agony inflicted on those who don’t abide by the five moral precepts: not to tell lies, commit adultery, kill, drink alcohol or steal.
In the paintings some who have lived sinfully are seen to be punished by being sawn in half, while those who have committed adultery are forced into naked climbing expeditions up a giant kapok tree, covered in thorns.
Halfway up the prickly tree the hapless nudists find themselves stuck between the beak and the blade: if they climb higher a huge bird will descend and peck them into tiny pieces; if they descend it will be onto a sharpened sword.
In the meantime those caught lying or drinking alcohol have their tongues cut out, while anyone who killed animals adopts the head of the slain beast.
Those who fight with or kill their parents are thrown into a large pot to boil for all eternity.

Here’s my favorite part: “When asked if they fear this unending agony, some may say that there are no more thorns left on the kapok tree, as many have climbed before them.”

Can’t you just hear a Lao mom saying, “Just because your friend climbed the kapok tree doesn’t mean YOU have to!”

Hong Kanyasin – the Russian Circus of Laos

When your whole life feels like a dog-and-pony show, there’s nothing to do but go to the circus!

According to my trusty Lonely Planet, the Russian Circus was established in the 1980s during a time of strong Soviet influence in Laos. The circus stages performances just a few times each year, so when my friend Catherine suggested we go, I jumped at the chance. We hired Mr. Kek (the hammock-dwelling mango-loving tuktuk driver) for the evening.

A carnival atmosphere pervaded the neighborhood outside the rustic bigtop. Crowds milled about snack stalls, pop-the-balloon dart games, a bouncy castle, booths selling everything from hair barrettes to underwear to toy guns, and a primitive looking merry-go-round with swinging aluminum animals.
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We bought our tickets (15,000 kip or $1.78 each), including one for Mr. Kek, and filed in with the other circus-goers. We were led to assigned seats on stadium-style narrow wooden benches. About two-thirds of the seats remained empty; most of the rest were filled with Lao families. We recognized a handful of other foreigners, but the show’s late starting time deterred expats with young children. Scheduled to start at 8 p.m., it actually got going around 8:30 and finished at 10, well past bedtime.

As we waited for the show, a live band in the balcony played loud traditional music, a disco ball swirled colorful lights across the smiling faces in the audience, and performers occasionally popped their heads out from behind the purple curtains at the back of the ring. In the center of the round theater, a low perimeter wall encircled the stage area and a bright orange and yellow mat covered the ground.
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Here were some highlights:
• A young woman came running through the purple curtains and grabbed a thick rope hanging from the ceiling in the center of the ring. She promptly tripped and lost her grip on the rope, which seemed to be a bad omen. Fortunately, she climbed the rope and did a number of scary acrobatic stunts while suspended and then descended unscathed.
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• A man and woman did partner stunts interspersed with breezy dance moves reminiscent of doomed ballet lovers. Their act culminated with her doing a headstand on top of his head while he stood, sat and turned 360 degrees on the floor.
• Another couple performed a variety of tricky handstands. The most impressive was when the boy bent forward and the girl draped backwards over his back and grabbed her own feet under his stomach. He then pushed up into a handstand on some wobbly metal handles with her still attached around his middle.
• A group of young men juggled fedoras and weakly attempted some hat choreography. I started to think they messed up intentionally to build suspense for their more dangerous pursuit – juggling daggers.

From here, the evening took a bizarre turn.

• A girl in a leopard-print leotard came out and danced to the tune of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” with a group of menacing shirtless guys in ripped pants, black capes and creepy masks with attached frizzy black hair. Stagehands pushed a strange camouflage-painted pyramid – about 6 feet tall – into the ring, and a young man clad in a fake-fur caveman costume chased away all the baddies and did a few synchronized round-offs with the girl. Then the girl went to the pyramid, dropped open one side of it (to reveal the sloppy plywood construction) and pulled out a big python. She wrapped it around her neck and body and paraded it on the ring’s perimeter wall while the boy did random acrobatic jumps and dance moves. She spent quite a long time arranging the snake on the floor in a zig-zaggy formation before joining the boy for a few more leaps and lifts. A solid girl who looked like she’d rather be playing field hockey, she wobbled a bit in her airborne spread-eagle and seemed a bit apologetic when the poor guy lifted her one-armed over his head. She then writhed around on the floor and did a few solo moves while the guy visited the snake pyramid to extract a pet of his own – a python or boa or some other kind of enormous snake. The boy had to wriggle and twirl for several minutes to tangle himself up with the snake enough that he could walk without dragging it. He made a big show of kissing the snake and sticking its head in his mouth. He followed the girl’s lead to arrange the snake on the ground before rejoining her for some final acrobatic stunts. While they pranced about, both snakes slithered and looked keen to escape, but before long they were both scooped up and taken offstage.
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• Next a group of guys performed leaps over a flimsy table and on to some worn-out mats, shaking it up a bit with a few variations: adding a pommel horse, soaring over other acrobats lying on the table, flying through a clown’s legs as he stood on the table, and finally jumping through hoops set on fire.
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• The fire theme continued with a surreal act involving two girls in jungle costumes twirling fiery batons (which dropped repeatedly on to the apparently flame-retardant yellow mat), gyrating with blazing hula hoops, taking sips of some incendiary liquid and spewing into their tiki torches to blow massive fireballs, and rubbing the lit torches over their exposed skin (which was shiny with some protective substance).

• Another pair of girls came out to simultaneously twirl stacks of conflagration-free hula hoops, which was impressive, albeit somewhat anticlimactic after all the fire stunts.

• The highlight of the night was a hilarious dog act. Unlike many of the human performers, the dogs all looked fresh and energetic in their sparkly little costumes. They lined up at little doggie podiums and took turns doing stunts, including math (barking to answer questions), jumping over hurdles, walking on top of a big hamster wheel while another dog pounced back and forth through the middle, and finally forming a conga line. I was in stitches over one tiny dog in his yellow satin jacket. He dashed under the hurdles and then peed on another dog’s podium. He just couldn’t stay focused on the task and required constant redirection from his handlers (hey, this is beginning to sound like some of my second-grade report cards).

• Just when my butt ached from the hard bench and my nerves could hardly stand another death-defying, safety-be-damned performance, the stagehands dragged a dilapidated old trampoline into the ring and assembled it. The stained woven web attached to a rusty rickety frame with shabby bumper pads. Workers hoisted up two tall stilts at the end of the trampoline and secured them with cables to the perimeter of the ring. The performers made a dramatic entrance in a tight pack under the spotlight with lots of synchronized militaristic moves to the blaring music. One guy bounced up to a platform on the stilts and hooked himself to a harness. The group then took turns bouncing and flipping, occasionally flying up to be grabbed by stilt boy, who swung the person under his legs so that if his hands had slipped, the trampoliner would have rocketed out into the audience. One girl lost her footing and conked her chin on the trampoline frame.
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By western standards, the show was cheesy and amateurish. Costumes looked cobbled together from personal wardrobes, cast-offs from cheap boutiques and sequin tape. The props and equipment were ancient with torn and faded fabric and layers of chipped paint. The two clowns wore mismatched street clothes and simple make-up. Although many of the performers displayed real talent and perseverance, they lacked polish. Frankly, the whole production was just a notch above a high school talent show.
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And yet, when I looked out over the audience, I saw children doubled over with laughter during the clown routines. I saw parents and youngsters wide-eyed with mouths agape during dangerous stunts, sighing and hugging each other with relief at each success. I saw Mr. Kek’s smile stretched across his face as he hooted and clapped.
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I saw joy.
And isn’t that what the circus is all about?

*%#@! Writer’s Block

Yikes, it’s been a long time since I’ve written anything here. In part, that’s because my brain was numbed by two weeks of administering English language proficiency assessments followed by countless hours of composing report card comments. I seem to be suffering from a cranky restlessness that I chalk up to an obsession with summer vacation overlapped with the frustration of a long pre-departure to-do list.

I’ve been typing for about an hour, but I keep deleting everything. I suppose all writers have days like this. My wry commentary just sounds mean. My witty observations aren’t funny. My reflections sound whiny and crabby. I’m heading to the Russian Circus tonight. Surely, I’ll find some inspiration there.

The Sign of the Fish

Just when you’ve worn a new pretty frock from Bali to the European Film Festival …
Just when you’ve enjoyed a splurge of a dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant with a splendid glass of red wine …
Just when you’ve closed the cover of a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel and sat reflecting on the horror and beauty of the prose …
Just when you’ve batted the ball around with your tennis coach at a rented court …
Just when you’ve spent a few hours holed up in your study with the air conditioner cranked, lost in Facebook …
Just when you’ve practiced your lines for the brilliant radio play “Under Milkwood” by Dylan Thomas, which you’re performing next week …
Just when you’ve shelled out a fortune for a haircut in a swanky salon …
Just when you’ve downloaded new music from iTunes …
… just when you trick yourself into thinking you live in a world of Western conveniences and culture, you step out into your yard to find the remains of a primitive-looking fish kebab. With tiny sharp teeth, fat gray scales and ant-filled eye sockets, the fish seemed to say, “Ha! Where do you think you are? New York City?”

Most likely, it was our night guard’s dinner, but as a Pisces, I can only interpret this fish as a sign.

With five weeks to go before summer vacation … before I can head home to cooler temperatures, cuddles with my nephews, dinners with my parents, views of the lake, Michigan four-berry pie, visits from friends and family, neighbors who speak English, Sunday newspapers, shady bike trails, crispy bacon, sprawling book stores, and everything else we miss during the school year … with just five weeks to go, that fish is telling me not to wish away my time but to embrace those things I love here and to acknowledge that I am one of the lucky ones.

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Trees and tuk-tuks and tolerance

Martin Luther once said:

For in the true nature of things, if we rightly consider, every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold and silver.

I’m afraid I beg to differ, Mr. Luther.

As I’ve mentioned before, tuk-tuk drivers often congregate outside our front gate, where a full leafy tree provides cooling shade. They’re usually friendly, sometimes jumping up to open my gate when I approach on my bike, but more often than not, they’re just annoying. Sometimes they actually park directly in front of our gate, so we have to drive the motorbike around their tuk-tuks to get to our house. Most weekend mornings, they rise with the sun and crank their tinny pop songs. Lately they’ve been dumping trash under the tree, which would be the final straw if I knew enough Lao to have a confrontation.

In late March, the shade tree lost all its leaves and looked near death. Tony and I did a little happy dance but immediately felt guilty for rejoicing in nature’s destruction. The tuk-tuk drivers found other places to park, and we savored the peace of our foliage-free front gate. Unfortunately, we underestimated the power of tropical regeneration. Within about two weeks, the tree stood tall and proud and superfoliaceous. (I just found that fabulous word on synonym.com!)

So the drivers are back.

Mr. Kek, our favorite smiley mango-stealing driver – who likes to take detours by his own home to show passengers “Mr. Kek house! Mr. Kek dog! Mr. Kek baby!” – has even rigged up a hammock between his tuk-tuk and that temptress of a tree.
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So, Mr. Luther, I will take that gold-and-silver tree, please.

Wat ‘O’ the Week – Wat Chom Phet

If you’re looking for an enormous cricket, the no-evil monkey triplets, a nasty concrete crone with a chicken cage full of scared people, and a massive reclining Buddha, have I got a temple for you!

Wat Chom Phet, located at the southern edge of Vientiane, is not your run-of-the-mill Buddhist temple. Just a short bumpy ride off the busy Tha Deua Road, this place resonates a mystical, whimsical vibe.

I pedaled here with Tony and my friend, Catherine, early Sunday morning at the recommendation of a friend. Parking our bikes inside the temple gate, we were greeted by a strange collection of sculptures. A Lao man was lighting incense at an adjacent Buddha statue, so I asked him in Lao if he spoke English (an essential phrase to learn here!). He did, kind of.

We asked him to explain the unusual yard art.

Gigantic cricket with a man in traditional dress yanking on one huge cricket leg? Hmmm … he rambled about how the name of the village translated to “cricket” or something like that.
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Skulls with red-painted fire and large aardvark-ish animals? Well, er, maybe those came from another temple.
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Creepy looking witch with pendulous naked breasts guarding an overturned basket with three crouching captives inside? Ah, this one he could explain! The monks use this sculpture to teach that it’s easy to fall under the influence of evil people like this scary woman … or maybe not.
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At least the hear-no-evil/see-no-evil/speak-no-evil monkeys were self-explanatory.
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After chatting with us a bit more, the guy finished his prayers and drove off. We wandered around the temple grounds. The main attraction was the reclining Buddha, rumored to be 21 meters long and the biggest reclining Buddha in town. (I say “rumored” because nobody seems to know much about much at local temples.) I especially liked that Buddha rested his elbow on an elephant’s head; that was a creative touch.
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Buddha’s bed was decorated with a menagerie of animals, including more elephants, a cat, chicken, naga, turtle, ox, dog, tiger and a couple I couldn’t identify – maybe a hyena or monkey?
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There must have been some special event very early this morning. Ladies were cleaning up inside the big room, stacking trays used for eating while sitting on the floor.
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Catherine and I sat down in the shade to chat, and we were soon joined by a novice monk and an old man.
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The monk, named Som Chith, spoke some English and asked whether we had any questions about the temple. Turns out he didn’t have any answers, though. Fortunately, the old man, named Du Peng, had some institutional knowledge. He would relay long stories in Lao to our monk friend, who would then pause and think for a bit before giving us much abbreviated versions in English.

According to the guys, most of the temple was built on donated land in 1942, although the big gold stupa was older, maybe from the early 1900s. We asked about the crazy sculptures, and after a particularly long Lao explanation from Du Peng, the monk told us a traditional folktale about a character named Khatthanam. Catherine and I think the story goes like this: The evil witch captured people and ate them (hence the cage and the skulls on the BBQ). Khatthanam got word that some of his friends had been captured, so he came to their rescue. In an ending reminiscent of Hansel and Gretl, he tricked the witch by replacing the people with crickets. Gigantic crickets like the statue? We never got a clear answer to that. And, to be honest, we may have completely misunderstood the whole thing.

I tried to find details on (a) the temple, (b) the cricket story, and (c) the big Buddha, but as usual, I came up empty-handed. I find it very disconcerting how little of the local history and culture is documented in an accessible form. When I mentioned this to the first temple-goer, he shared my dismay. He said the government is deeply suspicious of the internet and wants to keep its secrets private. Well, they’re doing a good job.

Here are more shots from the temple:

What’s Hot? What’s Not?

Lady Gaga. Edward or Jacob? Celebrity reality shows. Farmville. The iPad. Know what else is hot?
My toiletries.

We have air-conditioning units in our dining room and bedrooms, and that’s it. Today’s temperature is 100°F, so anything not located in the dining room or bedrooms is getting broiled. Sometimes it’s nice to slather warm body butter on my feet before I go to bed, but when I start sweating straight out of the shower, I don’t really want my facial moisturizer to heat up my skin like Ben-Gay.

Just for kicks, I conducted a little experiment on our toiletries, and the results were surprising. I’m sure some brainiacs out there could explain this phenomenon, but I did not expect to see such a range of temperatures. I mean, all of these products live in the same sweltering room. Why didn’t they all have the same temperature?

Here’s the rundown (my thermometer only gives readings in Fahrenheit, so I apologize to those of you in the metric world): Our toothpaste got the hottest with a blazing temp of 97.4°F. Shaving cream stayed the coolest with a relatively chilly temp of 95.7°F.

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Feeling very clever, I took my experiment one step further, using the scientific method:
(1) Ask a Question – Is there a relationship between the tap labeled “cold” and the actual temperature of the water?
(2) Construct a Hypothesis – Turning on the “cold” tap will release cold water out of the faucet.
(3) Test the Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment – I turned on the “cold” tap and used my thermometer to measure the temperature of the water. At first, the water temperature was 90.4°F, which I believe would universally be considered not cold. After letting the water run for a bit to get the hot water out of the pipes, I measured the temperature again: 92.7°F. It actually got hotter.
(4) Draw a Conclusion – It seems there are two potential conclusions. (a) My hypothesis was wrong, and there is no cold water in Laos. (b) My hypothesis was correct, and “cold” in Laos is a relative term defined as being around 92°F.

So you know what’s NOT hot in Vientiane? Nothing.

Have I Mentioned the Fruit Shakes?

Sure, I could cross the street and buy some fresh fruit to make a frosty delicious shake. But then I would have to peel it and chop it and walk to the market next door to buy ice and get the blender out of the cupboard and later rinse out the blender and my glass … in my non-air-conditioned kitchen. Sweat is collecting on my brow at the thought.

Instead, I like to head into town to House of Fruit Shake, a little stall run by a lovely Lao woman named Nui, who will do all the work for 85 cents.
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Here’s Nui making our fruit shakes.
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Even though it’s 99F/38C here in Vientiane today, I feel quite comfy sitting on a sofa with a fan blowing in my face while I read a book and sip my lemon-and-mint shake. Today, Tony tagged along and sucked down a banana shake (he went off Diet Coke cold turkey three days ago; it hasn’t been pretty).
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Usually, I hang out here and read for awhile, occasionally pausing to chat with Nui or order another fruit shake. Tony’s not one to linger, so we cut it short today. Can you tell how much I wanted to read that book? It’s a real page-turner!
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Tropical Fruit – A Love Story

I know I talk about fruit a lot. I just can’t overstate how much I love it.

For the last couple weeks, I have been eating mangoes from the tree in my yard. There are many varieties of mangoes here in Laos; ours are pale yellow and green on the outside and bright orange on the inside. Yum. The mangoes hang very high in the tree, but when we come home from school we find that our tiny housekeeper, Daeng, has somehow managed to pick them. She wraps the mangoes in newspaper and stashes them in cupboards until they’re perfectly ripe.

Our mangoes dangle close to the front gate, taunting the tuk-tuk drivers who park in the shade there. Once Tony caught our favorite tuk-tuk driver, Mr. Kek, sneaking in to steal one! Yesterday, I had crossed the street to buy an iced coffee from my beloved street vendor, Saeng, when Mr. Kek stopped me to ask if he could have a mango. Happily slurping on my coffee, I felt a little compassion was in order. “Bo-pen-yang,” I told him. No problem. I opened the gate and let him in. He immediately shimmied up the mango tree (in flip flops) and then precariously inched out onto a limb to grab a piece of fruit. Back on the ground, he showed me the mango had a bit of sap on it. “Baw dii,” he said. No good. I think he just wanted me to feel relieved that he took a defective mango, when in reality, it looked pretty darn perfect to me.

Another source of mango-ey deliciousness here in Vientiane can be found at Kung’s Cafe, a quirky little restaurant tucked in a back alley, where you can get a pancake made from sticky rice with chunks of ripe mango inside and drizzled with honey. But that’s a story for another day.

This morning, I walked across the street to the fruit vendors and bought a honkin’ big papaya, a bunch of sweet bananas, a kilo of mangosteens and a few imported apples (for Tony, who doesn’t like tropical fruit – freak!), all for about $5. It was so pretty, I had to take a picture.
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