It wasn’t exactly the first thing we did in Albuquerque, but the ABQ Trolley Co tour will surely be one of the highlights from our visit. Tony and I climbed aboard the open-air stucco-ed trolley Wednesday afternoon with owners Jesse (left) and Mike for an entertaining and interactive glimpse into Albuquerque’s history, growth and present-day attractions.

The guys said they take turns driving and narrating. This time, Mike was at the wheel, and Jesse led the tour. Although we came to Albuquerque with no real itinerary and feeling a bit uncertain that we could fill four whole days here, this tour made us realize we’ll have to come back (probably many times!) to see it all. We listened to fascinating anecdotes as we explored Old Town, Museum Row, Historic Route 66, downtown, East Downtown (aka EDO), Nob Hill, the University of New Mexico, sports stadiums, the historic Barelas neighborhood and railyards (which are now used extensively as movie sets), the zoo and several park areas.

I made Tony sit with me in the front seat of the trolley, and when Jesse offered Tootsie Pops as prizes for his trivia questions, our hands shot up so fast, those other passengers didn’t have a chance. Things we got right:
* Who called Route 66 “the Mother Road”? John Steinbeck in Grapes of Wrath (Tony)
* Who can spell Albuquerque? EASY! (me) Jesse said a lady once spelled it with three K’s. I really hope he’s joking.
* What is the official state question of New Mexico? We required a hint: it has to do with colors… oh yeah! Red or green? as in chile sauces, and yes, they spell it “chile” … weird. (Tony)
* Where was Don Knotts born? Albuquerque, duh. I didn’t really know this one, but I took a long shot.

They don’t call me the “Guide Hog” for nothin’! (by “they,” I mean myself…)

Jesse gave us three little homework assignments:
Check out the back of a tree next to the historic San Felipe de Neri Catholic Church, which we did right after the tour to discover this hidden gem.

Go to Frontier Restaurant and eat a butter-drenched sweet roll. Twist my arm!

And, finally, look up Bill Gates’ mug shot from when he lived here and got arrested for speeding and driving without a license. Done! (To be fair, Jesse showed us the picture before we got off the trolley.)

My favorite story from the tour related to the city’s baseball team, called the Isotopes. We naturally assumed the name stemmed from New Mexico’s connection to nuclear energy and atomic bombs. However, the story is much better and funnier. Here it is, as told by Sarah, the owner of the Adobe Nido Bed & Breakfast, on her blog:

Episode 15 of Season 12 of the Simpsons, was called Hungry, Hungry, Homer, and it first aired on March 4, 2001. The plot centered around Homer overhearing a conversation, seeing some incriminating evidence and discovering a secret – that Springfield’s beloved baseball team, the Isotopes, were leaving Springfield for Albuquerque, NM – but no one would believe him and the evidence disappeared.
Homer went on a hunger strike in hopes of exposing the plan, and he was chained to a pole in the baseball stadium getting thinner every day. Duff (BEER) Corporation, (their CEO is the team owner) is bored with Homer and decides to use him as an attraction and during a game. They unchain him and tempt him with hot dogs (now with a southwestern sauce!) Homer notices the sauce and that the hot dog wrappers have a new team name and logo – Albuquerque Isotopes. This was the evidence Homer had seen before, so the plot was finally revealed and Homer is the hero. As it turns out in the end, Albuquerque’s Mayor decides to acquire the Dallas Cowboys instead, and will make them play baseball. In the very last clip of the episode he declares his reason… “I AM THE MAYOR OF ALBUQUERQUE.”
This cracks me up because the Mayor of Albuquerque in 2001 was Martin Chavez, and he was thought of by many citizens of the Duke City to be a controlling egomaniac. I’m also amused that this episode ending was cut in all future reruns of the episode in America, but not in foreign countries.
Apparently, Burqueños love the Simpsons. Please come join us at the ballpark, but if you go to a game, and hear the call to cheer, don’t yell, “charge!” In Albuquerque we yell, “Marge!”

The trolley tour was perfectly organized with heaps of fun facts and quirky stories. I walked away with a greater appreciation for Albuquerque and the sense that this place doesn’t take itself too seriously. A sense of humor, spirit of historical preservation, lottery-funded free college education, ubiquitous public art, competitive food culture, ethnic diversity and sunshine 361 days a year … what’s not to like?